Friday was spent mostly asleep and feeling bit 'bleurgh' and wondering if I'd make it out to my friends' 40th on Sat - about 10 friends are 40 this year/month and organised a big 'do' at a converted barn with a band (my friends band from Cardiff but I didn't know they'd booked them until Dom in the band emailed me last week to see what I was doing this weekend!) and a DJ, who is a friend of our who's been DJ-ing since we were teens, and a 'rodeo sheep' ride and a bouncy castle... The very fabulous Mars drove me there - as I've been a bit peeky, and Mars had to drive back to Hull today (Sunday), we thought we'd pop along for a couple of hours and be home early.
I saw people I haven't seen for ages, some of them for 20 years! Dom's band (tribute Blondie band!) were fab, and our DJ was brilliant, and I did vodka, and dancing (with lots of rests in between!) and laughing and catching up and took pics and all of a sudden it was 1 am and me and Mars were agreeing to go back to Em's mums place (she had vacated it for the night) where there would be more music and revelry, just for a cuppa and home - erm....... we got back to mine at 4 , ahem!
I took 2 cocodomols immediately - but however many aches I was due to have, were all so very worth it because it was such an amazing night! Had so much love from everyone, and we all just chatted as though we saw each other all the time, and I did a silly dance with Tim and a bum-bumping shuffle with Nick and shimmied a lot with Mars and Ems and Ems and Claire and Claire (yeh the mums round here in the 70's had some favourite monikers obviously) and it was just what the doctor ordered - well, my doctor may not have exactly recommended it, but I am declaring it as an Alternative Therapy *grins*
I love my friends xxx
Sunday 30 October 2011
Thursday 27 October 2011
peering out from the fog
Well, the temperature has returned to normal, I'm getting to used to that ''freezing-then-boiling'' routine now!
Had a nice day, managed to light the fire, been curled up in front of it all day. Also started the day cautiously with toast, by 4pm had soup , whoohoo!
Had a call about going in to Usk House on the 8th to get assessed for my complementary therapies, yay :)) And a lady from there called me to ask if I wanted to see if I could claim any DLA whilst poorly...? She said she had seen my notes and could possibly get something due to the fibromyalgia which is probably exacerbated by the lymphoma ... ?? She did say that people with cancer find it difficult to claim, as the DSS (or whatever they're called) often say it's not the cancer, if it's not an obviously debilitating one, that's causing any ill effects, but the chemo/RT etc. Cheeky bastards!! Anyway, I won't rant on because I'm simply gobsmacked, whilst at the same time, not surprised, if that makes sense!
Bit headachy and sleepy so off to get some cocodomol .....
Had a nice day, managed to light the fire, been curled up in front of it all day. Also started the day cautiously with toast, by 4pm had soup , whoohoo!
Had a call about going in to Usk House on the 8th to get assessed for my complementary therapies, yay :)) And a lady from there called me to ask if I wanted to see if I could claim any DLA whilst poorly...? She said she had seen my notes and could possibly get something due to the fibromyalgia which is probably exacerbated by the lymphoma ... ?? She did say that people with cancer find it difficult to claim, as the DSS (or whatever they're called) often say it's not the cancer, if it's not an obviously debilitating one, that's causing any ill effects, but the chemo/RT etc. Cheeky bastards!! Anyway, I won't rant on because I'm simply gobsmacked, whilst at the same time, not surprised, if that makes sense!
Bit headachy and sleepy so off to get some cocodomol .....
Wednesday 26 October 2011
icky & sleepy
Oh here we are, chemo number 6. Possibly 6 more left, but will find that out after chemo number 8 when I have a CT scan to see if lumpy is still shrinking. Doc says however many chemos I have, I'll get a NHS bonus of some radiotherapy at the end. If plan A doesn't keep working and lumpy stops shrinking, we'll be back to considering plan B, going in to be blasted intensively, but she thinks plan A is going well so far.
Started yawning before even got home from hospital today, and collapsed on sofa whilst mum and stepdad pootled about doing chores and trying to talk to me and trying to tempt me with fish pie and not getting very far as was too woozy and vague. D was dropped off by Liz at 5, mum took her away at about 6, by which time I was feeling pretty crappy so that was good timing. Had time for a couple of cwtchs first :)
Felt the chill starting, and quite nauseous for a bit, so shoved heating on (too feeble to light fire) and huge fluffy dressing gown and woolly blanket and dozed off on sofa for a while... woke up feeling hot and thirsty, so ripped dressing gown and blanket off and rank orange juice an date sliced up tomatoes and cucumber and a slice of cheddar but think over did it with the cheddar.
So, possibly 6 more of these eh? Best plough on and get those positive thoughts up a gear... :)
Started yawning before even got home from hospital today, and collapsed on sofa whilst mum and stepdad pootled about doing chores and trying to talk to me and trying to tempt me with fish pie and not getting very far as was too woozy and vague. D was dropped off by Liz at 5, mum took her away at about 6, by which time I was feeling pretty crappy so that was good timing. Had time for a couple of cwtchs first :)
Felt the chill starting, and quite nauseous for a bit, so shoved heating on (too feeble to light fire) and huge fluffy dressing gown and woolly blanket and dozed off on sofa for a while... woke up feeling hot and thirsty, so ripped dressing gown and blanket off and rank orange juice an date sliced up tomatoes and cucumber and a slice of cheddar but think over did it with the cheddar.
So, possibly 6 more of these eh? Best plough on and get those positive thoughts up a gear... :)
Sunday 23 October 2011
Spot the error
Today, I had a lie-in until almost 1pm!!! Oh my goodness that felt good! :)
I thought I'd have a quick coffee and banana then pop out quickly to the shops for things we were short of... so.... I drove to the local village, only 1 and a half miles, to buy milk loo rolls and bread, got back in the car, tried to drive off, but off side tyre completely flat?! So had to call my rescue recovery fellas as my spare was also buggered (moral of the story...?) so whilst waiting went and had coffee with P who had nearly finished work, then got to sit in a big truck which took my poorly car to that garage That Fixes Things Quikly and my little 10 minute trip out to spend a fiver took me 2 hours and cost £105... hurumph!
On getting home, cheered us all up by doing chicken roast (mum had dropped off a chicken yesterday) and warming up mum's home made apple pie :) I didn't fancy pie yet so tucked into the choc/raspberry/chilli pud which Em brought round yesterday - wow! taste sensation :)
P is coming into town tomorrow to do shopping so as I'm working, we'll meet for lunch, yay!
The ducks are tucked up, D had her PJs on, time for bedtime story then curl up on sofa with blanky methinks............
I thought I'd have a quick coffee and banana then pop out quickly to the shops for things we were short of... so.... I drove to the local village, only 1 and a half miles, to buy milk loo rolls and bread, got back in the car, tried to drive off, but off side tyre completely flat?! So had to call my rescue recovery fellas as my spare was also buggered (moral of the story...?) so whilst waiting went and had coffee with P who had nearly finished work, then got to sit in a big truck which took my poorly car to that garage That Fixes Things Quikly and my little 10 minute trip out to spend a fiver took me 2 hours and cost £105... hurumph!
On getting home, cheered us all up by doing chicken roast (mum had dropped off a chicken yesterday) and warming up mum's home made apple pie :) I didn't fancy pie yet so tucked into the choc/raspberry/chilli pud which Em brought round yesterday - wow! taste sensation :)
P is coming into town tomorrow to do shopping so as I'm working, we'll meet for lunch, yay!
The ducks are tucked up, D had her PJs on, time for bedtime story then curl up on sofa with blanky methinks............
Saturday 22 October 2011
Feeling the lurve
Thursday night brought tipsy declarations from P ... I did a mini survey of friends and asked, do people say what they really feel when tipsy or not? The vast majority said yes, people do. So, I'm still smiling ;)
Had a wonderful lie-in today, followed by my gorgeous 13 year old bringing me a cuppa in bed before heading off to Cardiff to do the cool things that 13 year olds do in cities on weekends... :) She returned sober by the way ;) As I lay in bed th elovely Lynne called so had good catch up with her too.
VERY excited to day as Em who is currently living in Sri Lanka but over for a few weeks was coming to visit...one of my best friends (of which I am lucky to have many!) but as she's hardly in the UK it was fab to see her in person. She managed to be Super Woman as she brought lunch, cooked it, washed up, cleaned and rearranged my kitchen AND managed to hug me too lol!
I managed to give her a surprise too - as Em and Em M and lots of other friends are all 40 this year and having huge gathering/party/celebration etc next weekend... as I was waiting for her, Dom emailed me (photographer/musician/kinda journalist friend lives in Cardiff) to ask what I was doing next Sat night - I thought, oh no, he's coming down from Cardiff and I won't be here! I told him I was off to a party. He asked where - off, I thought, as he doesn't know the area well - told him - he announces his band are playing there and he was going to take me a pretend roadie so I could get a night out and chat to him, but I'm going anyway and he's thrilled!! I was amazed and very happy too! So I said to Em - that band you booked, I know them! Hah, small world :) So, next Sat, my fab friend Mars and her lovely hubby will be down from Hull and are kindly driving me to party, then we get to see people we don't see often and some of them, not seen for 20 years! - and get to hang out with my friend's band! Hoorah :)
D was dropped off at 4 and talked Em's head off and made us laugh ... then after Em left we drive off to *sssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh* pick up B's birthday pressie - new guitar!! and then pick up B from train.
All day I have felt non-nauseous - hoorah! And no bad back ache - double hoorah! Also had pot-belly stove lit all day and evening and it's toastie warm :)
A good day xxx
Had a wonderful lie-in today, followed by my gorgeous 13 year old bringing me a cuppa in bed before heading off to Cardiff to do the cool things that 13 year olds do in cities on weekends... :) She returned sober by the way ;) As I lay in bed th elovely Lynne called so had good catch up with her too.
VERY excited to day as Em who is currently living in Sri Lanka but over for a few weeks was coming to visit...one of my best friends (of which I am lucky to have many!) but as she's hardly in the UK it was fab to see her in person. She managed to be Super Woman as she brought lunch, cooked it, washed up, cleaned and rearranged my kitchen AND managed to hug me too lol!
I managed to give her a surprise too - as Em and Em M and lots of other friends are all 40 this year and having huge gathering/party/celebration etc next weekend... as I was waiting for her, Dom emailed me (photographer/musician/kinda journalist friend lives in Cardiff) to ask what I was doing next Sat night - I thought, oh no, he's coming down from Cardiff and I won't be here! I told him I was off to a party. He asked where - off, I thought, as he doesn't know the area well - told him - he announces his band are playing there and he was going to take me a pretend roadie so I could get a night out and chat to him, but I'm going anyway and he's thrilled!! I was amazed and very happy too! So I said to Em - that band you booked, I know them! Hah, small world :) So, next Sat, my fab friend Mars and her lovely hubby will be down from Hull and are kindly driving me to party, then we get to see people we don't see often and some of them, not seen for 20 years! - and get to hang out with my friend's band! Hoorah :)
D was dropped off at 4 and talked Em's head off and made us laugh ... then after Em left we drive off to *sssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh* pick up B's birthday pressie - new guitar!! and then pick up B from train.
All day I have felt non-nauseous - hoorah! And no bad back ache - double hoorah! Also had pot-belly stove lit all day and evening and it's toastie warm :)
A good day xxx
Small lurgys, big lie-ins
Wednesday night saw D having her turn at the bug that's been going round her school, so Thursday morning she spent curled up on granny's sofa and I took half a day off and cwtched up with D on our sofa in the afternoon.
Then later on we were told there was no water at the school that day and unlikely to be any there Friday - but today I did have LOTS to do at work so good ol' granny came to the rescue, which is particularly fab because tonight is D's regular sleep-over night at granny's too. But the lurgy had gone and my queasy moments had disappeared too, so we both managed a good day today :)
As D was away, I ventured out for a whole one and a half hours to see Jo and Nick, whilst awaiting my free range 13 year old teen, B, to finish at 'youth club'. Had a fab catch up and Jo had baked us some cakes to take home :) B showed up slightly off balance, this was due, apparently, to the gang sharing some strongbow. . Hmmmm, having been through free range teen M already, I feel slightly better prepred to deal with it this time, plus better at taking the p**s out of them too ;)
So, bed now, to fully appreciate my lie-in tomorrow morning!
Nos da xxxxx
Then later on we were told there was no water at the school that day and unlikely to be any there Friday - but today I did have LOTS to do at work so good ol' granny came to the rescue, which is particularly fab because tonight is D's regular sleep-over night at granny's too. But the lurgy had gone and my queasy moments had disappeared too, so we both managed a good day today :)
As D was away, I ventured out for a whole one and a half hours to see Jo and Nick, whilst awaiting my free range 13 year old teen, B, to finish at 'youth club'. Had a fab catch up and Jo had baked us some cakes to take home :) B showed up slightly off balance, this was due, apparently, to the gang sharing some strongbow. . Hmmmm, having been through free range teen M already, I feel slightly better prepred to deal with it this time, plus better at taking the p**s out of them too ;)
So, bed now, to fully appreciate my lie-in tomorrow morning!
Nos da xxxxx
Wednesday 19 October 2011
Results day, sort of...?
I saw some fit firemen in the firestation gym, which momentarily distracted me from the training course... then I dashed off to get the hospital for my Boob Tube Flush and the results.
The consultant told me that the PET scan showed the lumps had disappeared apart from the one on the right hand side, so the chemo is working but I need more treatments ... so I will have 3b next week and then likely to need 4a and b too - at their team meeting on Friday they will discuss radiotherapy. But then she threw in this little gem - one option, rather than current chemo and radiotherapy, would be to go in as an in-patient for 5 days for intense chemo... she said it's not known yet, until discussed, if this would give a better long term prognosis than sticking with original plan, plus the side effects and any risk of infections would be more severe.
That stopped me in my tracks I have to admit.
I said that I didn't want to do the 5 day thing unless it was a matter of life or death. She said it wouldn't be. I also said that what would I do with my kids whilst I was in hospital? I said my mother would offer, but that she was 67 with a bad hip, one lung and uses a nebuliser, my stepdad is 72, and my 6 year old wouldn't sleep.... the consultant said my views for treatment were as valid as anything else and she would tell the team on Friday what I had told her. She said I would be less likely to die from the side effects of plan A than plan B?!
So I'm feeling a bit weird. The chemo is working, but I'll need 8 not 6 chemo's and the consultant thinks dropping a 5 day stay into the conversation is fine - why that suggestion? Is the lump a serious lump, too stubborn? Or does she think an intense blast would be better??
So I should be really pleased but I feel a bit confused and there's nothing more she can tell me until next Wednesday.
So, I dunno ... hoorah for lots of lumps having gone, and , erm, um, oh, for the rest!
Here's to kicking it's arse even harder and shifting any remaining naughty lumps ASAP! :)
The consultant told me that the PET scan showed the lumps had disappeared apart from the one on the right hand side, so the chemo is working but I need more treatments ... so I will have 3b next week and then likely to need 4a and b too - at their team meeting on Friday they will discuss radiotherapy. But then she threw in this little gem - one option, rather than current chemo and radiotherapy, would be to go in as an in-patient for 5 days for intense chemo... she said it's not known yet, until discussed, if this would give a better long term prognosis than sticking with original plan, plus the side effects and any risk of infections would be more severe.
That stopped me in my tracks I have to admit.
I said that I didn't want to do the 5 day thing unless it was a matter of life or death. She said it wouldn't be. I also said that what would I do with my kids whilst I was in hospital? I said my mother would offer, but that she was 67 with a bad hip, one lung and uses a nebuliser, my stepdad is 72, and my 6 year old wouldn't sleep.... the consultant said my views for treatment were as valid as anything else and she would tell the team on Friday what I had told her. She said I would be less likely to die from the side effects of plan A than plan B?!
So I'm feeling a bit weird. The chemo is working, but I'll need 8 not 6 chemo's and the consultant thinks dropping a 5 day stay into the conversation is fine - why that suggestion? Is the lump a serious lump, too stubborn? Or does she think an intense blast would be better??
So I should be really pleased but I feel a bit confused and there's nothing more she can tell me until next Wednesday.
So, I dunno ... hoorah for lots of lumps having gone, and , erm, um, oh, for the rest!
Here's to kicking it's arse even harder and shifting any remaining naughty lumps ASAP! :)
Tuesday 18 October 2011
Paint and cheese and more scarves and scary satnavs
But, not all at the same time :)
Well, trying to put a scarf round your head can get quite tricky when your arms are so much weaker and the scarf slips and by the time it's in the place you want it you can't tie it up straightaway because your hands and arms are aching... oh yes, mornings can be creaky anyway with the fibromyalgia, lol! So, I can't afford to press the snooze button on the alarm clock anymore as I really *need* those spare ten minutes!
Today my madly lovely mum and stepdad started painting the chimney breast in the smaller room downstairs which was a spare sitting room but is being transformed into my bedroom...my free range teenagers cannot share a room anymore!! And I am happy to create my own bed-sit downstairs with bed, sofa, music system, tv, and woodburner :) Anyway, it's a lovely deep red, get me with my feature wall lol!
I ordered my online shopping last night and salivated all day waiting for the cheeses and houmous and pate to arrive.....nom nom nom! Just stuffed our faces with nice bread and all those lovely things.... boursin, gouda,, vine tomatoes sliced up on top - *contented sigh*
Tomorrow I have to find my way to Caerphilly fire station to their meeting room for Freedom Programme training (and NOT at all thinking about any firemen I may see there - although there may be a theme emerging here this week...) so I have borrowed stepdad's satnav .... just programmed in the postcode etc and the 'man' told me to turn around as soon as possible...... whoa, I'm sat on my sofa, he's a bit keen!! Let's hope he's as eager first thing in the morning eh?
Well, trying to put a scarf round your head can get quite tricky when your arms are so much weaker and the scarf slips and by the time it's in the place you want it you can't tie it up straightaway because your hands and arms are aching... oh yes, mornings can be creaky anyway with the fibromyalgia, lol! So, I can't afford to press the snooze button on the alarm clock anymore as I really *need* those spare ten minutes!
Today my madly lovely mum and stepdad started painting the chimney breast in the smaller room downstairs which was a spare sitting room but is being transformed into my bedroom...my free range teenagers cannot share a room anymore!! And I am happy to create my own bed-sit downstairs with bed, sofa, music system, tv, and woodburner :) Anyway, it's a lovely deep red, get me with my feature wall lol!
I ordered my online shopping last night and salivated all day waiting for the cheeses and houmous and pate to arrive.....nom nom nom! Just stuffed our faces with nice bread and all those lovely things.... boursin, gouda,, vine tomatoes sliced up on top - *contented sigh*
Tomorrow I have to find my way to Caerphilly fire station to their meeting room for Freedom Programme training (and NOT at all thinking about any firemen I may see there - although there may be a theme emerging here this week...) so I have borrowed stepdad's satnav .... just programmed in the postcode etc and the 'man' told me to turn around as soon as possible...... whoa, I'm sat on my sofa, he's a bit keen!! Let's hope he's as eager first thing in the morning eh?
Sunday 16 October 2011
Yays and Nays
Loved lying-in, stil feeling blissful from yesterdays hypnotherapy - apart from having to turn my phone off as D tried calling me at 8.30am to see when I'd be turning up at nan's ;) - I didn't answer it, listened to voicemail later hehe!
Poor D has been a bit anxious now and then. She wanted to know if she could get get ''bad cells like mummy'' ... because she thought the tubes would hurt her much more than me :-( Poor thing obviously thinking about it all ... I had to lie, which I try not to, but in this case I had to protect her, and say no, she couldn't get bad cells like mummy - how could I say ''oh yes, anyone can get them'' and then let her fret ?? So, it was one of those times where you balance out benefits of which facts are going to help! Bless her. Bloody cancer, fucking with everyone one way or another. Well, it can jolly well Fuck Off! :)
Today has been a bit back-achy... so been taking lots of co-codomol and ibuprofen. And eating Viennetta. I don't know if that's officially suggested for aches, but as a lesser-known South Walian remedy, I can recommend it... ;)
I have two Big Parties coming up, and wondering, if the doc wants to go ahead with 3b chemo, if they could tweak the date... I have talked to others who have managed this, so we can see :)
Well, back to work, Monday morning n all that tomorrow, I shall go armed with painkillers for the back and drink lots of coffee and smile nicely at the head-tilters from CAB ;)
Poor D has been a bit anxious now and then. She wanted to know if she could get get ''bad cells like mummy'' ... because she thought the tubes would hurt her much more than me :-( Poor thing obviously thinking about it all ... I had to lie, which I try not to, but in this case I had to protect her, and say no, she couldn't get bad cells like mummy - how could I say ''oh yes, anyone can get them'' and then let her fret ?? So, it was one of those times where you balance out benefits of which facts are going to help! Bless her. Bloody cancer, fucking with everyone one way or another. Well, it can jolly well Fuck Off! :)
Today has been a bit back-achy... so been taking lots of co-codomol and ibuprofen. And eating Viennetta. I don't know if that's officially suggested for aches, but as a lesser-known South Walian remedy, I can recommend it... ;)
I have two Big Parties coming up, and wondering, if the doc wants to go ahead with 3b chemo, if they could tweak the date... I have talked to others who have managed this, so we can see :)
Well, back to work, Monday morning n all that tomorrow, I shall go armed with painkillers for the back and drink lots of coffee and smile nicely at the head-tilters from CAB ;)
Saturday 15 October 2011
I went to my happy place ;)
Well, D looked very sweet today - ballet was not a lesson but a photo session so they all had to pose, which she has NO problems with! Dropped the pink princess off at her nan's and met up with Lynne for our Coffee-Putting-Universe-To-Rights session ;)
My friend Mike (Trish's Mike not Mars' Mike), who is a fireman, a druid and newly training NLP practitioner, has also done a course in relaxing hypnotherapy, and asked if he could come over and try it on me. Oh YES! What good timing! Just as the whole treatment thing was beginning to drag, the nausea is nudging me more annoyingly, and I was losing my mojo a bit, here was a stunningly wonderful session! I loved it. I totally melted, relaxed, zoned out, saw colours and images and felt fabulous afterwards *Big Grin*
This evening, as all kiddies are sleeping over elsewhere, I am on sofa in PJs, with my very own mini chinese takeaway, pint of orange juice (no vodka in it yet!) and crap tv, then early night with a book.
Life throws so many weird things at us, and it makes us sink or swim.... I'm off across the Channel!! ;)
My friend Mike (Trish's Mike not Mars' Mike), who is a fireman, a druid and newly training NLP practitioner, has also done a course in relaxing hypnotherapy, and asked if he could come over and try it on me. Oh YES! What good timing! Just as the whole treatment thing was beginning to drag, the nausea is nudging me more annoyingly, and I was losing my mojo a bit, here was a stunningly wonderful session! I loved it. I totally melted, relaxed, zoned out, saw colours and images and felt fabulous afterwards *Big Grin*
This evening, as all kiddies are sleeping over elsewhere, I am on sofa in PJs, with my very own mini chinese takeaway, pint of orange juice (no vodka in it yet!) and crap tv, then early night with a book.
Life throws so many weird things at us, and it makes us sink or swim.... I'm off across the Channel!! ;)
Friday 14 October 2011
Woozy times and wig days
I was a bit too woozy to type much yesterday. I told my dearest mum that I was going to sleep all day, so what did she do? Come round twice LOL! Then said, you look tired ... ? Anyway, she was dropping off food so musn't grumble but I did really just want to sleep! ;)
Today, I had a midday appointment to pick up my wig. Mum offered to take me but to be honest she's done enough and, to make me sound more ungrateful, I'd seen enough of her this week and wanted to save more tilted-head-ness for lunch on Sunday ;) I KNOW she is there for me and I am lucky to have her and I am well looked after, but I sometimes get over-whelmed by everything, and sometimes get over-whelmed by her too, she is very intense, but I still love her lots :)
So, I was planning on dropping D at school then dozing on sofa and setting alarm to go to Usk. Before I took D, K sent me a text saying she was off today and wanted a catch up if I was up for it, so I said I had to go to usk and she offered to drive me which was fab coz I was/am knackered really! So (after my nap on sofa followed by visit from E next door with a crystal to hang in my window to reflect the light :) ) we went and got the wig - very nice and good colour and good fit - but - it just doesn't *feel* right! So I said thank you and wore it to the coffee shop but didn't like it still, so took it off in the car and put my wrap on again :)
I showed it to my girls and M said 'what do you think?' and I said I don't really like it and D said I should wear it coz she doesn't like me bald so I let them feel it and then even D said, hmm, we see what you mean LOL!
Still feel a bit in limbo as have to wait til next week for results. It's ok for ''them'', it's not their lives/health on the line! Anyhoo, could be worse, so plodding on. :)
Today, I had a midday appointment to pick up my wig. Mum offered to take me but to be honest she's done enough and, to make me sound more ungrateful, I'd seen enough of her this week and wanted to save more tilted-head-ness for lunch on Sunday ;) I KNOW she is there for me and I am lucky to have her and I am well looked after, but I sometimes get over-whelmed by everything, and sometimes get over-whelmed by her too, she is very intense, but I still love her lots :)
So, I was planning on dropping D at school then dozing on sofa and setting alarm to go to Usk. Before I took D, K sent me a text saying she was off today and wanted a catch up if I was up for it, so I said I had to go to usk and she offered to drive me which was fab coz I was/am knackered really! So (after my nap on sofa followed by visit from E next door with a crystal to hang in my window to reflect the light :) ) we went and got the wig - very nice and good colour and good fit - but - it just doesn't *feel* right! So I said thank you and wore it to the coffee shop but didn't like it still, so took it off in the car and put my wrap on again :)
I showed it to my girls and M said 'what do you think?' and I said I don't really like it and D said I should wear it coz she doesn't like me bald so I let them feel it and then even D said, hmm, we see what you mean LOL!
Still feel a bit in limbo as have to wait til next week for results. It's ok for ''them'', it's not their lives/health on the line! Anyhoo, could be worse, so plodding on. :)
Wednesday 12 October 2011
Hurumph#2
Had chemo #5 ... but the Heath hospital didn't get it together to send results in time so I won't know til next Wednesday when I go in for the Boob Tube Flush - hopefully!!
Sat with high temp and lots of cold orange juice feeling bit disappointed but hey, no news is good news n all that jazz ... :)
Currently the plan is to complete cycle 3 (had 3a today - no, they *can't* call them 1,2,3,4 etc!), possibly 4 depending on results... then have assessment at Velindre to see if need radiotherapy - the final decision will be made at a team meeting on the 21st. . . so may get away with stopping at 3 cycles, will know by time go in for 3b.
Bit hot and bothered so off to lie down again :)
Sat with high temp and lots of cold orange juice feeling bit disappointed but hey, no news is good news n all that jazz ... :)
Currently the plan is to complete cycle 3 (had 3a today - no, they *can't* call them 1,2,3,4 etc!), possibly 4 depending on results... then have assessment at Velindre to see if need radiotherapy - the final decision will be made at a team meeting on the 21st. . . so may get away with stopping at 3 cycles, will know by time go in for 3b.
Bit hot and bothered so off to lie down again :)
Tuesday 11 October 2011
''R" day tomorrow ............
I have felt a bit off today. Maddening backache has not helped! Bit nauseous. When I went for my bloods today I mentioned it to the nurse and said I had actually felt a bit more ''icky'' (dontchya love my technical terminology??) for about a week so she said tomorrow when I go for chemo #5, I can ask the doc for stronger stuff. Yippee! Also, the injections I have to do are getting more painful... it seems I getting more sensitive to pain, whether bangs, bruises, scrapes etc....
But at work, had good stuff happen as the counsellor #2 came in to confirm her starting date, and someone called in to enquire about using the centre for a food bank too, which is fab for us all! *grins*
So................................................ results day tomorrow ................ keeping digits and appendages crossed!
But at work, had good stuff happen as the counsellor #2 came in to confirm her starting date, and someone called in to enquire about using the centre for a food bank too, which is fab for us all! *grins*
So................................................ results day tomorrow ................ keeping digits and appendages crossed!
Monday 10 October 2011
Glow in the dark...........
Well, no cancellations today! Arrived at the Heath hospital on time ready for PET scan! Although my mother demanded a complaints form as some chap from Lincolnshire arrived 2 hours early for his appointment and was allowed to push in and was called before me so mum turned all rattlesnake and got me in at same time lol!
So ... sitting with a book, even a really good new one, for 90 whole minutes, waiting for the day-glo dye to travel around my body, is damned tricky! Just as I was getting a numb bum and losing the plot, they called me in! 25 minutes and a backache later, I was released! And I dragged my poor mum full speed towards the cafe (much more posh than Nevill Hall !!) as I wasn't allowed to eat this morning and I was ravenous!!
Leaving my mum and her complaint form at her house, I went on to have coffee with Jo and a good ol' catch up before picking up various sprogs, although I had to wait until 5.30 as I would have been radioactive before that and wasn't allowed near small sprogs or pregnant people!
Had a text from Sascha, troll bead bracelets are being looked into :))
So, roll on chemo#5 and results of the PET scan on Wednesday................
So ... sitting with a book, even a really good new one, for 90 whole minutes, waiting for the day-glo dye to travel around my body, is damned tricky! Just as I was getting a numb bum and losing the plot, they called me in! 25 minutes and a backache later, I was released! And I dragged my poor mum full speed towards the cafe (much more posh than Nevill Hall !!) as I wasn't allowed to eat this morning and I was ravenous!!
Leaving my mum and her complaint form at her house, I went on to have coffee with Jo and a good ol' catch up before picking up various sprogs, although I had to wait until 5.30 as I would have been radioactive before that and wasn't allowed near small sprogs or pregnant people!
Had a text from Sascha, troll bead bracelets are being looked into :))
So, roll on chemo#5 and results of the PET scan on Wednesday................
Saturday 8 October 2011
Happy tears
Had a most delightful text message from Sascha today - her daughter (she is a pupil at the school I used to work in where Sascha still works) has had a collection for me at the school!! And they want to know what I would like!! How sweet is that?! I was too gobsmacked and goosebumpy to think about what might be nice ... Sascha asked if I'd like a tattoo, but I don't know if I am brave enough these days ... I have 4, and have pondered on another ... hmmm. It's either a tattoo or a nice necklace/bracelet I think, coz I thought of a massage but then I wanted something to keep if the kids at school have gone to the trouble of collecting for Miss Bev ;)
It's made me grin all day :)
So this afternoon two of my best friends met for the first time! Lou and Lynne, in the same cafe, with me! We had a hoot :)
Deri was dropped off about 6 by my fab and loopy mum and stepdad, high as a kite on haribo lol! We had a nice natter and cwtchs before bedtime story. She's planning what she wants for xmas! I reminded her she has a birthday before that ;) I decided to get rid of a pile of books and old letters that were cluttering up my kitchen worktop so books are on the bookshelf, squeezed them in, and the bread machine (that was hiding on top of a table), and the slowcooker (that was squashed between the cooker and toaster) are now next to the fruit bowls because there is much more room... :)
So, lunch at mum's tomorrow... yumyum!
It's made me grin all day :)
So this afternoon two of my best friends met for the first time! Lou and Lynne, in the same cafe, with me! We had a hoot :)
Deri was dropped off about 6 by my fab and loopy mum and stepdad, high as a kite on haribo lol! We had a nice natter and cwtchs before bedtime story. She's planning what she wants for xmas! I reminded her she has a birthday before that ;) I decided to get rid of a pile of books and old letters that were cluttering up my kitchen worktop so books are on the bookshelf, squeezed them in, and the bread machine (that was hiding on top of a table), and the slowcooker (that was squashed between the cooker and toaster) are now next to the fruit bowls because there is much more room... :)
So, lunch at mum's tomorrow... yumyum!
Friday 7 October 2011
Making some plans but not others
Missed an entry last night, as I went to the PTA AGM. Wow I know how to party! :)
So I've been busy in work, arranging meetings with people who want to form links or hire our rooms etc, and some fun stuff such as planing the Xmas Fayre Fundraiser. I DO like my job, and feel very lucky that I do!
We have booked a holiday for March, as I am hoping that all treatments will be well and truly over by then. BUT that little bit of insecure doubt that cancer throws into your life is being annoying and occasionally tweaking my brain with ''what-if's'', although the positive part of me (which is usually most of me!) says 'hah! as if' ;)
Also, a group of my best friends are all getting together to celebrate being 40 this year... having a big party 3 days after chemo # 6 - I will go along, but I'll be tired lol! So can't really plan whether I can go in the coach, as I may want to leave early, but I'd rather not drive, and Mars is going so she might drive me, and that's fab. It's just frustrating that the treatments get in your way lol!! I am grateful that things are going well, I am, but you can't help but grump sometimes!
The 'Big Scan' is on Monday and the results should be back by Wednesday on chemo # 5. Here's to Good Results.......................
So this evening the fire is lit, little 'un is at her nan's, lie-in in the morning and sitting in cafe with Lou tomorrow :)
So I've been busy in work, arranging meetings with people who want to form links or hire our rooms etc, and some fun stuff such as planing the Xmas Fayre Fundraiser. I DO like my job, and feel very lucky that I do!
We have booked a holiday for March, as I am hoping that all treatments will be well and truly over by then. BUT that little bit of insecure doubt that cancer throws into your life is being annoying and occasionally tweaking my brain with ''what-if's'', although the positive part of me (which is usually most of me!) says 'hah! as if' ;)
Also, a group of my best friends are all getting together to celebrate being 40 this year... having a big party 3 days after chemo # 6 - I will go along, but I'll be tired lol! So can't really plan whether I can go in the coach, as I may want to leave early, but I'd rather not drive, and Mars is going so she might drive me, and that's fab. It's just frustrating that the treatments get in your way lol!! I am grateful that things are going well, I am, but you can't help but grump sometimes!
The 'Big Scan' is on Monday and the results should be back by Wednesday on chemo # 5. Here's to Good Results.......................
So this evening the fire is lit, little 'un is at her nan's, lie-in in the morning and sitting in cafe with Lou tomorrow :)
Tuesday 4 October 2011
bristly?
I have just shaved all my hair - well, the sparse tufty bits that were hanging on - off. I borrowed a friends hair clippers. How weirdly liberating in a arrgghh I'm bald isn't it quite amusing in an odd way!! :D
We got the new expresso/cappuchino machine working this evening - no LM, it's NOT red and shiny like yours, its black and shiny, which I guess matches the slow cooked Hehehehe! - and it's very fast! No more lurking waiting for the cafeterie (sp?) to brew and plunge it etc if you fancy proper coffee....unless you have time to spare it does take ages, and now I have another coffee option - as I also have one of those little French coffee pots you put on the stove to boil, so we are now fully equipped for any coffee emergency lol!
Well, I have my buff on round my head, let's see if it stays on all night, it's a bit nippy.... xxx
We got the new expresso/cappuchino machine working this evening - no LM, it's NOT red and shiny like yours, its black and shiny, which I guess matches the slow cooked Hehehehe! - and it's very fast! No more lurking waiting for the cafeterie (sp?) to brew and plunge it etc if you fancy proper coffee....unless you have time to spare it does take ages, and now I have another coffee option - as I also have one of those little French coffee pots you put on the stove to boil, so we are now fully equipped for any coffee emergency lol!
Well, I have my buff on round my head, let's see if it stays on all night, it's a bit nippy.... xxx
Monday 3 October 2011
Cooking? Nah, hippy rambling......
Catering must be in the air - picked up a free Delonghi expresso/cappuchino coffee machine today from the fab Freecucle :)
I've been veering between wanting to be treated as normal with no fussing to feeling slightly miffed at some absent folk ... now, there are not many of them I must say, just one or two, but it's all about lessons for us all, and some paths are not going to travel along together all the time, eh? :)
Along the way, over lots of years now, I've been blessed with some damn good friends, old and new, so ... thank you all :))
So, off to experiment with coffees and cookers and be thankful for all the good stuff and all the bumpy stuff, coz that bring more good stuff if you listen hard enough ;)
I've been veering between wanting to be treated as normal with no fussing to feeling slightly miffed at some absent folk ... now, there are not many of them I must say, just one or two, but it's all about lessons for us all, and some paths are not going to travel along together all the time, eh? :)
Along the way, over lots of years now, I've been blessed with some damn good friends, old and new, so ... thank you all :))
So, off to experiment with coffees and cookers and be thankful for all the good stuff and all the bumpy stuff, coz that bring more good stuff if you listen hard enough ;)
Sunday 2 October 2011
Roller Coaster
This morning I nearly gave up on having a bath. Why? Because I'd have to to make sure it wasn't too deep and wear a necklace to tuck my tubes into and even then wash very carefully to not get too much of anything medical very wet... and I was tired of feeling knackered and I was all grumpy and feeling sorry for myself (no, really?! I hear you cry!) ........
So I lay on my bed and read a book (reading a fab one right now called House Of Sleep) to ease myself into a different mood... and then got up and said ''no way is this getting me down!" and enjoyed a very nice bath and laughed at all the bits tucked in and not getting wet stuff :)
Progressive tiredness is what it must be eh? Was warned me about that, thankfully I haven't been vomiting etc, of which I am very grateful!
Went to my mums for lunch which was very nice but I wasn't really 'there', and then my lovely stepdad gave me a gift of ... a slow cooker! Um, it's great for cooking red meat in but I only buy chicken, which needs to be added later, so maybe it will work out ok if the veg is all cooked during the day?? I have no idea, being kitchen-appliance un-savvy! ;)
Needing more sleep now...............
So I lay on my bed and read a book (reading a fab one right now called House Of Sleep) to ease myself into a different mood... and then got up and said ''no way is this getting me down!" and enjoyed a very nice bath and laughed at all the bits tucked in and not getting wet stuff :)
Progressive tiredness is what it must be eh? Was warned me about that, thankfully I haven't been vomiting etc, of which I am very grateful!
Went to my mums for lunch which was very nice but I wasn't really 'there', and then my lovely stepdad gave me a gift of ... a slow cooker! Um, it's great for cooking red meat in but I only buy chicken, which needs to be added later, so maybe it will work out ok if the veg is all cooked during the day?? I have no idea, being kitchen-appliance un-savvy! ;)
Needing more sleep now...............
Friends
So, Fri night, Mars came over :) Had a lovely pizza and a lovely natter :))
Saturday, today, started with a long lie-in, and then me and Broni flopped about in front of TV together, and then Em came over for lunch and a natter which was very lovely... :)) And then Deri came home (than you mum for having her overnight & all day tpday!!) and we had cuddles and leaping around-ness (not me tho!) and bed-time stories and then Broni and me watched Dr Who but I can't say what happeend coz then Mars was coming over and she hasnt seen it yet! ;) We had another natter and watched a DVD and that was ALSO very lovely :))
What a great weekend so far!
Thank you everyone ;)
Saturday, today, started with a long lie-in, and then me and Broni flopped about in front of TV together, and then Em came over for lunch and a natter which was very lovely... :)) And then Deri came home (than you mum for having her overnight & all day tpday!!) and we had cuddles and leaping around-ness (not me tho!) and bed-time stories and then Broni and me watched Dr Who but I can't say what happeend coz then Mars was coming over and she hasnt seen it yet! ;) We had another natter and watched a DVD and that was ALSO very lovely :))
What a great weekend so far!
Thank you everyone ;)
Saturday 1 October 2011
Naps and harvests and visits
After Deri went to school yesterday & today, I went to bed again. Today I got up at 12, went to post some letters and went to see Deri's school Harvest play at the church - which was very sweet! The lovely Martine came over this evening - with delicious pizza! I had a nice nap on sofa afterwards as didn't quite get to bed and dozed off instead! Ahem.
So thought I'd be very naughty and catch up on the diary. Off to snooze again now as Deri at my mums so can have lie in and then wait for Ems to come over for lunch! I am enjoying my relaxation days :) AND.... loving my fab friends!
So thought I'd be very naughty and catch up on the diary. Off to snooze again now as Deri at my mums so can have lie in and then wait for Ems to come over for lunch! I am enjoying my relaxation days :) AND.... loving my fab friends!
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