Monday = spent in bed, not asleep but propped up on pillows with tv and laptop. Tuesday = met with Lovely Liz, the biodynamic counsellor whom I found to work with our clients at the MAC. She had been 'home' to Barbados for 6 weeks, so we had a LOT of catching up to do, and drank tea and chatted and as usual had a good giggle.
Wednesday = well,I had been waiting with baited breath for this day, as I was going into get my tubes flushed, but also, we though the Heath would have come up with a date for the SCT as they had their meeting the week before.
But No! No date.
Felt somewhat deflated! I want to get this bloody procedure over and one with, it's hanging over me like some dark cloud and now they can't decide when?? My consultant was a bit miffed as we had got the R stuff done quickly to be finished in time for the damn thing! Sandra called them ... they were in a meeting. Fucks sake! I need to know, because funnily enough, I am a single parent who has to get THREE weeks of childcare sorted for my 3 kids, and it may not be as simple as I thought before because my friend who was going to be here on weekends has had a bit of a crisis as her eldest has had a bit of a breakdown, and so it's quite possible that she will, of ocurse, need to be spending time with her, which I suggested to her as she hadn't mentioned it... then later that day, a message - the Heath thinks maybe the 27th of March, or possibly the 20th if some fella doesn't go in.
27th?? They said last time it could be the 3rd or 9th.
Ok, maybe they have had an emergency or someone has not responded well and is staying in longer etc. But Deri changes school on 16th April as hers is being closed down, and I REALLY want to be here when she moves schools, because I know she will be having some anxiety for a while, especially if I am in hospital - look how she was when I was just in for a week.
Fuskc sake.
I am going to call them tomorrow, and see if I can get some sense, and a definite date, because the nurse said that they often just give you a day or two notice. Well, in my situation, that's just too damn tricky.
My friend Eils said maybe I need to go in whenever, and that I need to think about myself, and Deri will cope whatever happens. This makes sense in a way, but it's also MY anxiety that's troubling me!!!
So, despite seeing friends the rest of the week, and trying to focus on my new hobby of needle felting (I'm gonna make stuff to sell at the fessie, but I'm too grumpy to explain just yet!), I have had this extra uncertainty lurking over me (which explains my absence recently) kind of putting a dampner on things.
Today I went to visit Ann (L's daughter) who is very poorly now, and in hospital. She has tumours in lungs, neck, groin, and can't eat or drink properly. She was imagining all sorts of weird stuff about chemo etc, so I explained that no, it is not a big machine that you go in to be zapped with stuff, it is a drip or a tablet or an injection... and she was much relieved!! More results on Tuesday, by which time they may have worked out which is the primary tumour. Bastard cancer.
This week is a busy one: tomorrow I am calling the Heath, then taking Deri to see her new school, then I have a meeting with my line manager and head of HR. *Gulp*. I hope they don't say anything along the lines of 'too long off is disruptive to company so ta-ta'. Then a PTA meeting in the evening, joy! ;)
Tuesday, reflexology - boy do I need that this week!
Wednesday - tube flushing in morning, then I am taking my mother to see 'The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel' at the cinema :)
Thursday or Friday, Lou will be down from Cardiff :)
Life is indeed a strange bowl of fruit.
Monday 27 February 2012
Friday 17 February 2012
Nights off. Nights in.
Well, R day went well, feels weird not to be having any more, though of course I won't complain ;) Another little milestone. Of course it would be wonderful if it was the last treatment EVER, but just the small matter of the transplant to do now. Should know dates next week.
Went to dentist for check up prior to SCT. Now, for me, this is a HUGE event as I am PHOBIC and not been for years! I need aa filling replaced and two roots out, but there is no active decay so I can wait until after the SCT otherwise recovery would be 3 weeks anc delay the SCT - if there was active decay then the SCT would have to wait but thankfully not!!
That night, Broni ended up bein gout at a sleepover too, so there were no kids in the house. I lit the fire, poured the wine, watched films, ate delicious pasta, and lounged on sofa........... oure, uninterrupted bliss!
Thursday, met the delightful LM for coffee and we had a long and fab chat which involved much laughter too :)) We also discussed how next time we saw each other properly, we would both be on road to recovery, as LM has an op and I have the SCT in the same month!
It was a most wonderful morning :))
Today has been a lazy day with Deri - although she was more active than me actually as she was out in garden on the swings, trampoline, toy horse etc! Ralh had lit a fire in their garden, so she made up an adventure about being called Lucy and rescuing the horse from the smoke of the fire :) She is always usin gher imagination, and most days is either being a pony, or a puppy, or a bear, etc ;)
Tomorrow we are meeting friends in the park and then back to theirs for lunch. I expect it will be a simple yet very nice lunch as J's hubby is a famous chef with a very nice restaurant haha!
All these nirmal activities feel surreal in one way, as in a week or two I will be sealed up in a room going through the SCT! Oh DO hurry up summer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Went to dentist for check up prior to SCT. Now, for me, this is a HUGE event as I am PHOBIC and not been for years! I need aa filling replaced and two roots out, but there is no active decay so I can wait until after the SCT otherwise recovery would be 3 weeks anc delay the SCT - if there was active decay then the SCT would have to wait but thankfully not!!
That night, Broni ended up bein gout at a sleepover too, so there were no kids in the house. I lit the fire, poured the wine, watched films, ate delicious pasta, and lounged on sofa........... oure, uninterrupted bliss!
Thursday, met the delightful LM for coffee and we had a long and fab chat which involved much laughter too :)) We also discussed how next time we saw each other properly, we would both be on road to recovery, as LM has an op and I have the SCT in the same month!
It was a most wonderful morning :))
Today has been a lazy day with Deri - although she was more active than me actually as she was out in garden on the swings, trampoline, toy horse etc! Ralh had lit a fire in their garden, so she made up an adventure about being called Lucy and rescuing the horse from the smoke of the fire :) She is always usin gher imagination, and most days is either being a pony, or a puppy, or a bear, etc ;)
Tomorrow we are meeting friends in the park and then back to theirs for lunch. I expect it will be a simple yet very nice lunch as J's hubby is a famous chef with a very nice restaurant haha!
All these nirmal activities feel surreal in one way, as in a week or two I will be sealed up in a room going through the SCT! Oh DO hurry up summer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday 15 February 2012
Birthdays. Cakes. And the Waiting Game.
Shall we begin with the crap news and follow with the good stuff? This afternoon began with a frenzied tidy up for visitors! L(N's mum) and S came over and we talked a bit more about A... Linda's 2nd daughter, about my age, suspected lung cancer, more tests being done now. She is a recovering alcoholic and former heroin user and has cirrhosis of the liver so they are worried about how strong she may or may not be. More worried waiting. Bloody cancer. L went through breast cancer herself some years ago. N has sent more texts demanding more stuff but this time I have not responded, as I had asked him already to wait until my treatment was over. When L & S got home he was there and S text me saying L has told N he must leave us alone now til treatment is done. Let's see. He also knows about his sister now as he hasn't seen his family for months; this could mean he focuses on that, or could mean he gets emotional, drinks more, and harasses us more!
A friend emailed me today, as the fact that I will need childhood vaccinations again after the SCT, has really hit home.
Ah yes, childhood vaccinations etc ...as I said before, I am being wiped clear, nuked with mega chemo that will make me weak and poorly for a while. My kids will have to try and carry on as normal whilst I sit in an airlock type room for 3 weeks. Looks as though I will be in there for Mother's Day. And that makes me want to cry. Because they will hurt. I will miss them, and Deri will be upset. I can bear anything against myself. But what hurts/harms them cuts me deep. Against years of living with and surviving domestic abuse, protecting them as far as possible from it and its effects, nurturing them back to feeling secure and more confident, rediscovering my confidence and finding new and worthwhile employment to support them whilst I chip away at doing creative stuff on the side, dealing with mad/bad/indifferent family members, we now have to battle with all this shite! Bastard cancer. But we will beat it and then we can relax again, and laugh more often, and have less moments thinking ''what if'' than we do now...
What's exciting is that, on Saturday, Meg passed her theory driving test with flying colours!!! Yay! So now, countdown to the driving test... eeek!! :)) My baby, my firstborn, driving around in her own car?!?! heehee!! Also on Sat, K was down and stauing with E&G, so we all met at the Bridge with sprogs and dogs and then piled back to theirs with cake!
Deri and I have been spending quality time together playing on the Wii with the Harry Potter game!! Casting spells and zapping the baddies, it's good fun and has some puzzles and twists to work out too which Deri loves. And as wandering about makes me more tired, it's a good way to sit down and entertain her at the same time!
Monday was Mum's birthday; we made an apple cake (get me and my baking!) and went over for afternoon tea and Chrissie and John and Theresa were there too; Meg and Ben met us there and we all had a fab afternoon :))
Today saw Deri and I over at Jo's for the morning, always fab to see the lovely Jo, and O and Deri played brilliantly and Jo and I had a good ol' catch up.
Tomorrow is a Rituximab day, which is fine, I get to read and eat and drink coffee in peace, plus natter with a few other patients; the stem cell team are meeting tomorrow too, so may have some News About Dates soon. Then lunch at mum's and Deri is staying overnight - whatever will I do with myself?! Then Thursday, coffee with fave Viking in the morning before going to pick up Deri :))
I have also had some rather touching and very lovely comments from friends who have either read bits of my diary or just from stuff I have emailed etc. So my ramblings are therapeutic for me and have helped others, so I am both surprised and chuffed!
A friend emailed me today, as the fact that I will need childhood vaccinations again after the SCT, has really hit home.
Ah yes, childhood vaccinations etc ...as I said before, I am being wiped clear, nuked with mega chemo that will make me weak and poorly for a while. My kids will have to try and carry on as normal whilst I sit in an airlock type room for 3 weeks. Looks as though I will be in there for Mother's Day. And that makes me want to cry. Because they will hurt. I will miss them, and Deri will be upset. I can bear anything against myself. But what hurts/harms them cuts me deep. Against years of living with and surviving domestic abuse, protecting them as far as possible from it and its effects, nurturing them back to feeling secure and more confident, rediscovering my confidence and finding new and worthwhile employment to support them whilst I chip away at doing creative stuff on the side, dealing with mad/bad/indifferent family members, we now have to battle with all this shite! Bastard cancer. But we will beat it and then we can relax again, and laugh more often, and have less moments thinking ''what if'' than we do now...
What's exciting is that, on Saturday, Meg passed her theory driving test with flying colours!!! Yay! So now, countdown to the driving test... eeek!! :)) My baby, my firstborn, driving around in her own car?!?! heehee!! Also on Sat, K was down and stauing with E&G, so we all met at the Bridge with sprogs and dogs and then piled back to theirs with cake!
Deri and I have been spending quality time together playing on the Wii with the Harry Potter game!! Casting spells and zapping the baddies, it's good fun and has some puzzles and twists to work out too which Deri loves. And as wandering about makes me more tired, it's a good way to sit down and entertain her at the same time!
Monday was Mum's birthday; we made an apple cake (get me and my baking!) and went over for afternoon tea and Chrissie and John and Theresa were there too; Meg and Ben met us there and we all had a fab afternoon :))
Today saw Deri and I over at Jo's for the morning, always fab to see the lovely Jo, and O and Deri played brilliantly and Jo and I had a good ol' catch up.
Tomorrow is a Rituximab day, which is fine, I get to read and eat and drink coffee in peace, plus natter with a few other patients; the stem cell team are meeting tomorrow too, so may have some News About Dates soon. Then lunch at mum's and Deri is staying overnight - whatever will I do with myself?! Then Thursday, coffee with fave Viking in the morning before going to pick up Deri :))
I have also had some rather touching and very lovely comments from friends who have either read bits of my diary or just from stuff I have emailed etc. So my ramblings are therapeutic for me and have helped others, so I am both surprised and chuffed!
Thursday 9 February 2012
New consultants and passing tests
Saw GP Monday, to both ask for painkillers for Megz, and to have my ''fitnote'' extended. Also the fibromyalgia consultant's notes had arrived, so I had my repeat prescription, plus another one for a pill to stp my tummy reacting to frequent ibuprofen, and another; so far with my fibrowhassit, I have not wanted to take the pill they offer for better sleep (not falling into a deep enough sleep is something that effects fibro-folk) - but with my sleep patterns all over the place lately, I agreed to give it a go. And they're only 10mg but I have been out like a light the last two nights. This evening I didn't take it until very late hence me typing at 1.30am!! - this is also because of the overload of information yesterday at the Heath!!!!!
Heath: met Keith from Trinidad briefly - brilliant bloke! Then his fellow doc, also called Emma, from Ireland, and we had A Long Talk. Apparently it was called our 'counselling' session, but really it was her giving me a barrage of sometimes reassuring and sometimes scary information.
I can't recall all of it, but..
3 weeks inside is most likely. A feeding tube inserted down through nose in case I am one of those whose mouth and throat gets too sore to eat...some people manage a few things, others don't. Most will also get the runs - the runs and the sore mouth due to Mucositis - oh joy. 2 visitors are allowed in but they recommend not having more than 8 during whole stay due to feeling crap; under 12's not allowed as I mentioned before (is it a bad habit to repeat things to yourself??).
If you can't manage the hospital food you have access to an ASK menu when possible, and ice lollies to suck on , plus there's snacks available all day if you can manage to eat but don't want an actual meal, and you can have supplement drinks if can't manage anything solid.
I was given a huge pack to read through, spent about an hour and a half in the doc's office, then an hour waiting for bloods (where I met 2 post-transplant people, one was bone marrow), then they took about 12 tubes of blood from me in one go!
The aim is not to be in remission, but to cure. Yay!! 4 out of 5 people are cured. So, a few weeks of feeling shite, then seeing if it works, which I am intending it to ;-)
I veer between wanting to sob at the thought of all that hard work, and wanting it to be sorted now! This is Big Time Stuff, and I know I'm made of Strong Stuff; just all a lot to take in, plus form to fill in and boxes to tick and sitting blinking at doc one minute then thinking of questions the next... Also, after a few months post-transplant, I will need to have all my childhood immunisations again!!
Today was bloods, then an echogramm/echograph (??) and ECG and lung function tests - all clear, passed with flying colours , then back down to WIndsor suite for the Rituximab, and Jo very kindly dropped me off and picked me up :)) Also been trying to fill the 24 hour urine sample bottle! Just gotta book the dentist next.
Hah, ''just'' ...... I HATE the dentist. But, it's gotta be done!!
Tomorrow, hand bottle in, have a CT scan, and hopefully Em will not be called into work and we will have our dastardly plan of... cake and coffee haha!
We can have cake, because to day I baked two so that I could layer them with lashings of raspberry jam. YUMMY!
And now for sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
Heath: met Keith from Trinidad briefly - brilliant bloke! Then his fellow doc, also called Emma, from Ireland, and we had A Long Talk. Apparently it was called our 'counselling' session, but really it was her giving me a barrage of sometimes reassuring and sometimes scary information.
I can't recall all of it, but..
3 weeks inside is most likely. A feeding tube inserted down through nose in case I am one of those whose mouth and throat gets too sore to eat...some people manage a few things, others don't. Most will also get the runs - the runs and the sore mouth due to Mucositis - oh joy. 2 visitors are allowed in but they recommend not having more than 8 during whole stay due to feeling crap; under 12's not allowed as I mentioned before (is it a bad habit to repeat things to yourself??).
If you can't manage the hospital food you have access to an ASK menu when possible, and ice lollies to suck on , plus there's snacks available all day if you can manage to eat but don't want an actual meal, and you can have supplement drinks if can't manage anything solid.
I was given a huge pack to read through, spent about an hour and a half in the doc's office, then an hour waiting for bloods (where I met 2 post-transplant people, one was bone marrow), then they took about 12 tubes of blood from me in one go!
The aim is not to be in remission, but to cure. Yay!! 4 out of 5 people are cured. So, a few weeks of feeling shite, then seeing if it works, which I am intending it to ;-)
I veer between wanting to sob at the thought of all that hard work, and wanting it to be sorted now! This is Big Time Stuff, and I know I'm made of Strong Stuff; just all a lot to take in, plus form to fill in and boxes to tick and sitting blinking at doc one minute then thinking of questions the next... Also, after a few months post-transplant, I will need to have all my childhood immunisations again!!
Today was bloods, then an echogramm/echograph (??) and ECG and lung function tests - all clear, passed with flying colours , then back down to WIndsor suite for the Rituximab, and Jo very kindly dropped me off and picked me up :)) Also been trying to fill the 24 hour urine sample bottle! Just gotta book the dentist next.
Hah, ''just'' ...... I HATE the dentist. But, it's gotta be done!!
Tomorrow, hand bottle in, have a CT scan, and hopefully Em will not be called into work and we will have our dastardly plan of... cake and coffee haha!
We can have cake, because to day I baked two so that I could layer them with lashings of raspberry jam. YUMMY!
And now for sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
Monday 6 February 2012
Slings and arrows, or swings and roundabouts?
This week: Monday, GP, local. Tues, consultant at the Heath. Wed, lung function test and rituximab/antibodies treatment, and start a certain bodily function 24 hr sample, all in local hospital. Thurs, hand in sample, have bloods, go for CT scan, same hospital. Fri, nothing?! phew lol! ;)
And the government thinks cancer patients should work whilst having treatment?! 1) they are often too ill/tired, 2) they don't have friggin time!
Ok, so here I am, one minute feeling very gung-ho about going in for the stem cell treatment and feeling very positive and that it'll all be over soon and back to normal.
Then, I start thinking about statistics and whether I should bother having the SCT at all! I have no idea what my stats are or the long term prognosis after SCT, and part of me does not wish to know, and part of me wants to know it all!!
I don't think it's the chemo itself, just possible side effects. Of course, I am worrying about ''the unknown'' more than anything else! This is what I have heard so far, and of course this is from other people. I have so far, surprised people with how well I have tolerated chemo :))
The SCT (stem cell transplant) - I have spoken to some people at my hossie who have been through it, and read two people's accounts. Basically, I am going to feel crap. I may not have energy to read or eat. Some people have managed for a while, others couldn't. My immune system is going to crash through the floor and if I am allowed visitors they will have to wear masks gowns and those slipper thingys, and nobody under 12 can come in apparently. The chemo is mega strong, 5/6 days of it, then 1 day of nothing, then D-day, stem cells back in. But if you tolerate the chemo, its usually the stuff they store the stem cells in that makes you ill, and some people get the runs and/or puke for few days. Some a little, some a lot. Then you have blood, platelets, etc, put in via IV too, if needed. Your blood count has to reach a certain level before they discharge you.1 poor man keep getting infections and pneumonia and was in and out for months. Another was out in 18 days with no complications. Sucking ice lollies during treatment keeps your mouth from developing sores apparently. And there's a particular mouthwash that everyone recommends so that if you want to eat, you can, coz your mouth won't be affected.
So it's no walk in the park. A few say that it was crap but not as awful as they expected. As I have, so far, been ok and not poorly and responded well to everything, I fully intend to do the same this time too!!! :))) Expect the best, be prepared for anything else, methinks.
Its the being away from the kids that's already doing my head in, and worrying about Deri. If I was able to have it done in my local hospital instead of 40 miles away, I would feel better.And YES I know that I am doing this for them as well as for me, coz they need a well mummy. But that doesn't stop me worrying, because it's 2-3 weeks away from home and my kids, so there! ;)
Pam helped reassure me by offering to be here EVERY weekend for 3 nights Fri-Sun, even if Deri stays with friends every Sat night, that means everyone gets a rest and as she loves dogs and ducks etc then all that will be fine - how utterly fabulous of her! :)) The Viking lady has also made a superb offer to loan me her old netbook which has a webcam, as then I can 'see' and speak to my kids who will be on my old laptop at home :)) And Lou has offered to be my assistant in Cardiff, bringing anything I need to the Heath as she lives round the corner :))
I think I shall continue to lean one way then the other until it's all done and dusted!!
And the government thinks cancer patients should work whilst having treatment?! 1) they are often too ill/tired, 2) they don't have friggin time!
Ok, so here I am, one minute feeling very gung-ho about going in for the stem cell treatment and feeling very positive and that it'll all be over soon and back to normal.
Then, I start thinking about statistics and whether I should bother having the SCT at all! I have no idea what my stats are or the long term prognosis after SCT, and part of me does not wish to know, and part of me wants to know it all!!
I don't think it's the chemo itself, just possible side effects. Of course, I am worrying about ''the unknown'' more than anything else! This is what I have heard so far, and of course this is from other people. I have so far, surprised people with how well I have tolerated chemo :))
The SCT (stem cell transplant) - I have spoken to some people at my hossie who have been through it, and read two people's accounts. Basically, I am going to feel crap. I may not have energy to read or eat. Some people have managed for a while, others couldn't. My immune system is going to crash through the floor and if I am allowed visitors they will have to wear masks gowns and those slipper thingys, and nobody under 12 can come in apparently. The chemo is mega strong, 5/6 days of it, then 1 day of nothing, then D-day, stem cells back in. But if you tolerate the chemo, its usually the stuff they store the stem cells in that makes you ill, and some people get the runs and/or puke for few days. Some a little, some a lot. Then you have blood, platelets, etc, put in via IV too, if needed. Your blood count has to reach a certain level before they discharge you.1 poor man keep getting infections and pneumonia and was in and out for months. Another was out in 18 days with no complications. Sucking ice lollies during treatment keeps your mouth from developing sores apparently. And there's a particular mouthwash that everyone recommends so that if you want to eat, you can, coz your mouth won't be affected.
So it's no walk in the park. A few say that it was crap but not as awful as they expected. As I have, so far, been ok and not poorly and responded well to everything, I fully intend to do the same this time too!!! :))) Expect the best, be prepared for anything else, methinks.
Its the being away from the kids that's already doing my head in, and worrying about Deri. If I was able to have it done in my local hospital instead of 40 miles away, I would feel better.And YES I know that I am doing this for them as well as for me, coz they need a well mummy. But that doesn't stop me worrying, because it's 2-3 weeks away from home and my kids, so there! ;)
Pam helped reassure me by offering to be here EVERY weekend for 3 nights Fri-Sun, even if Deri stays with friends every Sat night, that means everyone gets a rest and as she loves dogs and ducks etc then all that will be fine - how utterly fabulous of her! :)) The Viking lady has also made a superb offer to loan me her old netbook which has a webcam, as then I can 'see' and speak to my kids who will be on my old laptop at home :)) And Lou has offered to be my assistant in Cardiff, bringing anything I need to the Heath as she lives round the corner :))
I think I shall continue to lean one way then the other until it's all done and dusted!!
Saturday 4 February 2012
Perspectives. Oh, and cakes. And teens in cars!
So Wednesday rolled round, and off I went for a change of dressing, bloods, and Rituximab session.
That young guy was there - he's been in a few times now it seems, and is more relaxed, and has his sense of humour back - goody I thought, you've got yourself on track. It helps once you can do that, however long it takes, days, weeks, or months, we're all different after all.
So, consultant calls me in for a chat, I tell her I have been having cold feet about the transplant; she says that's perfectly normal. I am sure it is, and I DO like her a lot, but you know when you get that temptation to say to an 'expert' - "BUT ITS NOT YOU THAT HAS TO DO IT, IS IT?!?!"
Ahem. :))
So she tells me then that she has spoken to the team at the Heath, and it is a possibility that IT could be the end of this month! That's great, because it doesn't clash with school holidays (ie nobody has to look after Deri during the day and the night) and I should be out in time for the school to close (yes, the council deem it necessary to shut Deri's school :(( ) at Easter as us parents and staff don't want a slow trickle to nothing as kids need to leave etc - so there's a big party on the 30th March when they break up for Easter.
Now, I may only just be back out of hospital by then, but it's a good thing to aim for and if I'm too knackered to go along I shall be rather disappointed!
Yesterday (Thursday) I must have been visited by the Baking Muse and my body taken over by Nigella, as I spent the afternoon baking cakes!! This is a rare occurrence I have to point out, for those of you wondering why I am highlighting it! I set about looking for recipes for cakes suitable for Broni and her vegan diet - and dug out my old faithful, The Complete Vegetarian Cookbook - vegan chocolate cake and vegetarian carrot and poppyseed cake - the latter I have baked before but this time used all soya stuff instead of diary.
Yummy!
Oh, and Pedro tried waving and saying 'Hi' to me... pfft.
Ooooooooooooh - and Clod sent me a little Nepalese purse with crystals in!!!! I am very very spoilt! And they have very 'appropriate' properties too :))
- blue lace agate, jasper, bloodstone, citrine and amethyst.
Today has been a bit of a mix! Began with coffee round at Jo's; last time I went Jackie was there too and as hadn't seen her for about a year and Jo had just told her about me before I arrived, she was in shock and had to go early.. this time she had got her head around it all and was her usual silly self! Bless her she didn't now what to say last time, but this time was fine, no head tilts either, she did Very Well haha! Had a good old catch up with everone and a good laugh too :))
Home to do emails and make leek and potato soup with lentils and garlic - oh yes, this is so much more fun than working every day! Could I not just go to work 4 days a week and have one for baking and drinking coffee?? Please???
Then, this evening, as I sat with Deri playing on the Wii, Megan calls me - casually announced she and Ben were at hospital due to an icy corner spinning Bens car out of control at only 40 mph in the bendy lanes and them landing upside down!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!! !!!!!!!! BUT they are ok, just bruised and shocked. BLOODY HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And, breeeeeeeeeeeatheeeeeeeeee.........................................
And here she is, taking her driving theory test on the 11th!!
Well, the goddess and the gang were looking after them both tonight eh?? A couple stopped and the mother put Meg in their car with their kids to keep warm and rub her back whilst the fella talked to Ben and waited for ambulance, fire engine and police. She said she waited to call me until she got to hospital as she didn't want to call me whilst upside down coz she was screaming... I said do NOT worry about worrying me and call me whichever way round you are!!!!!!!!
And following yet another forwarded chain email with racism from my stepdad, instead of deleting it I sent a lengthy reply - it was of photos of a Muslim demo with banners and posters. Apparently all of them said things along the lines of ''death to freedom'' ''wait til the real holocaust europe'' and ''butcher all those against muslims''. Thing is, all of them had exactly the same handwriting. Now, either 1 very dedicated person stayed up for nights on end writing them all, or... the photos are photoshopped!! So, I sent back a rant.
'Isn't it odd that all the posters and banners have exactly the same writing style, as though they have been photoshopped? Or maybe one person spent many nights preparing all those posters for the entire crowd?
There ARE extremists out there yes, but you can't tar a whole nation/ religious group / culture with the same brush, nor believe everything you read/see without researching it first.
Otherwise, all white people in Christian countries would be tarred with the same brush as a few extremists who go out and threaten to kill, and in a few rare cases, DO kill, doctors who perform abortions, for example. Or those who target funerals of gay people and hold up banners saying god gave them AIDS etc on purpose (even if they didn't die of AIDS) as they are unnatural.
Extremists are around the world, and they are scary. But they do not represent their whole nation/ culture/ religious group.
This sort of thing perpetuates extreme racism, breeds fear, and allows governments to get away with taking away our freedoms bit by bit.
The media can be a wonderful thing. By all means, we can read the papers, watch X factor, listen to the news, exchange emails and views ... but we also need to hold back from believing it is all true, and to fish around for evidence, to do some research, and to realise the media manipulates us all the time, whether it's the BBC, CNN, Fox news, local news, or just individuals sending out emails that contains their opinions but not necessarily the truth.
I am not saying the demo did not take place, or that some people there did not express scary opinions. I am saying, be careful, look deeper, be aware. There's a few discrepancies, and some pictures can be taken out of context, as usually happens with ANY demo, whether its students, hippies, religious groups, teachers, miners, etc...'
Harumph!! Ok, he's 72, maybe he can get away with saying it's a generation thing, but I don't think it's right. But then, he's an ex Lieutenant Commander of the Navy, and I'm a hippy who worked for Greenpeace and attended road protests. I guess we'll always debate such matters hahahaha!!
Anyway, my daughter and her boyfriend are alive, so that's all that really matters today!!
That young guy was there - he's been in a few times now it seems, and is more relaxed, and has his sense of humour back - goody I thought, you've got yourself on track. It helps once you can do that, however long it takes, days, weeks, or months, we're all different after all.
So, consultant calls me in for a chat, I tell her I have been having cold feet about the transplant; she says that's perfectly normal. I am sure it is, and I DO like her a lot, but you know when you get that temptation to say to an 'expert' - "BUT ITS NOT YOU THAT HAS TO DO IT, IS IT?!?!"
Ahem. :))
So she tells me then that she has spoken to the team at the Heath, and it is a possibility that IT could be the end of this month! That's great, because it doesn't clash with school holidays (ie nobody has to look after Deri during the day and the night) and I should be out in time for the school to close (yes, the council deem it necessary to shut Deri's school :(( ) at Easter as us parents and staff don't want a slow trickle to nothing as kids need to leave etc - so there's a big party on the 30th March when they break up for Easter.
Now, I may only just be back out of hospital by then, but it's a good thing to aim for and if I'm too knackered to go along I shall be rather disappointed!
Yesterday (Thursday) I must have been visited by the Baking Muse and my body taken over by Nigella, as I spent the afternoon baking cakes!! This is a rare occurrence I have to point out, for those of you wondering why I am highlighting it! I set about looking for recipes for cakes suitable for Broni and her vegan diet - and dug out my old faithful, The Complete Vegetarian Cookbook - vegan chocolate cake and vegetarian carrot and poppyseed cake - the latter I have baked before but this time used all soya stuff instead of diary.
Yummy!
Oh, and Pedro tried waving and saying 'Hi' to me... pfft.
Ooooooooooooh - and Clod sent me a little Nepalese purse with crystals in!!!! I am very very spoilt! And they have very 'appropriate' properties too :))
- blue lace agate, jasper, bloodstone, citrine and amethyst.
Today has been a bit of a mix! Began with coffee round at Jo's; last time I went Jackie was there too and as hadn't seen her for about a year and Jo had just told her about me before I arrived, she was in shock and had to go early.. this time she had got her head around it all and was her usual silly self! Bless her she didn't now what to say last time, but this time was fine, no head tilts either, she did Very Well haha! Had a good old catch up with everone and a good laugh too :))
Home to do emails and make leek and potato soup with lentils and garlic - oh yes, this is so much more fun than working every day! Could I not just go to work 4 days a week and have one for baking and drinking coffee?? Please???
Then, this evening, as I sat with Deri playing on the Wii, Megan calls me - casually announced she and Ben were at hospital due to an icy corner spinning Bens car out of control at only 40 mph in the bendy lanes and them landing upside down!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!! !!!!!!!! BUT they are ok, just bruised and shocked. BLOODY HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And, breeeeeeeeeeeatheeeeeeeeee.........................................
And here she is, taking her driving theory test on the 11th!!
Well, the goddess and the gang were looking after them both tonight eh?? A couple stopped and the mother put Meg in their car with their kids to keep warm and rub her back whilst the fella talked to Ben and waited for ambulance, fire engine and police. She said she waited to call me until she got to hospital as she didn't want to call me whilst upside down coz she was screaming... I said do NOT worry about worrying me and call me whichever way round you are!!!!!!!!
And following yet another forwarded chain email with racism from my stepdad, instead of deleting it I sent a lengthy reply - it was of photos of a Muslim demo with banners and posters. Apparently all of them said things along the lines of ''death to freedom'' ''wait til the real holocaust europe'' and ''butcher all those against muslims''. Thing is, all of them had exactly the same handwriting. Now, either 1 very dedicated person stayed up for nights on end writing them all, or... the photos are photoshopped!! So, I sent back a rant.
'Isn't it odd that all the posters and banners have exactly the same writing style, as though they have been photoshopped? Or maybe one person spent many nights preparing all those posters for the entire crowd?
There ARE extremists out there yes, but you can't tar a whole nation/ religious group / culture with the same brush, nor believe everything you read/see without researching it first.
Otherwise, all white people in Christian countries would be tarred with the same brush as a few extremists who go out and threaten to kill, and in a few rare cases, DO kill, doctors who perform abortions, for example. Or those who target funerals of gay people and hold up banners saying god gave them AIDS etc on purpose (even if they didn't die of AIDS) as they are unnatural.
Extremists are around the world, and they are scary. But they do not represent their whole nation/ culture/ religious group.
This sort of thing perpetuates extreme racism, breeds fear, and allows governments to get away with taking away our freedoms bit by bit.
The media can be a wonderful thing. By all means, we can read the papers, watch X factor, listen to the news, exchange emails and views ... but we also need to hold back from believing it is all true, and to fish around for evidence, to do some research, and to realise the media manipulates us all the time, whether it's the BBC, CNN, Fox news, local news, or just individuals sending out emails that contains their opinions but not necessarily the truth.
I am not saying the demo did not take place, or that some people there did not express scary opinions. I am saying, be careful, look deeper, be aware. There's a few discrepancies, and some pictures can be taken out of context, as usually happens with ANY demo, whether its students, hippies, religious groups, teachers, miners, etc...'
Harumph!! Ok, he's 72, maybe he can get away with saying it's a generation thing, but I don't think it's right. But then, he's an ex Lieutenant Commander of the Navy, and I'm a hippy who worked for Greenpeace and attended road protests. I guess we'll always debate such matters hahahaha!!
Anyway, my daughter and her boyfriend are alive, so that's all that really matters today!!
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