Improvements

So what's happening this week? Well, the dry skin is still with me, but the intensive peeling on my legs is improving and I no longer leave a shower of skin on the floor when I get undressed etc!! As my skin peels the ''chemo tan'' is fading but I still have it on my face and chest. My nails grew really long, I lost my hair again (all over body too) but my eyebrows and eyelashes have STILL hung in there! My energy levels are slowly improving and I can now cook a meal or wash up without feeling utterly exhausted... I do have to sit down afterwards but I don't feel wiped out anymore! Went to have my tubes flushed today, and the doc came over for a chat too, and said they are thinking of getting me a date quite soon to have the Hickman line removed! I will be waiting impatiently for the 3 week healing period then so I can lie immersed in a bath up to my chin, after so long with a shallow bath haha! And, the sponsorship target has had to be raised as we smashed it in 3 days!! :)))

Beautiful people

Well, I have to confess to being somehwat bowled over by the lovely actions of some friends this week!! Funnily enough, LM and I had been muttering about trying to walk around one of the Race for Life routes this summer. With lots of pit stops ;-) Then, a couple of days ago, Claire asked if I'd mind if she set up a team page for people to run one of the routes in honour of me!!??!! I had a lot of dust in my eye after that...

Anyway, it happened! There's a facebook page to promote it and a Justgiving donations page to sponsor us all, and LM is coming along too and Claire put up a a target of £400 which got smashed in just 3 days so she's raised it to £600 now hahahaha!!!!!

Both LM and I commented earlier that it has made us realise what an enormous impact us having cancer has had upon our friends. I kinda knew that people were concerned and loving and supportive, but this whole team run thing has highlighted just how fucking amazing the people are that I know!!! I am overwhelmed, and thrilled, and stunned, and keep getting eye incontinence ;-)

It means more than I can express to know how loved I am, and to admit that I am loved actually! My step father said previously that he has been impressed by how brilliant my friends have been, and it's true. Not just running a race, which is fab, but the calls, the queries, the surprises, little gifts, the treats, hugs, holding my hand, little messages which can light up a gloomy day, just being there for me in a myriad of amazing and simple and very special ways. This includes my family, all of them, my daughters of course, my friends near and far, old and new, the hospital staff, and friends I met on Macmillan that I may never meet in the flesh but who have been just as supportive as my friend 1 mile away! Each and every one of them has helped me cope with bastard cancer in all sorts of ways. I don't know how I can ever truly express my gratitude.

I guess staying alive and truly kicking cancer's arse would be one way .... ?! ;-)

More good stuff

I am feeling a bit stronger again this week, trying to pace myself so I don't overdo it! My bloods were better again this Wednesday so don't need to go back for 2 weeks this time. Sandra the nurse said that once they can see my bloods stabilising in a few weeks, they can arrange to get me in and get the hickman line out - whoo hoo!!!!! And they were high enough to allow me to pop into local shops if I need something! I drove "a lot" (compared to what I am used to at the moment anyway) yesterday and my legs ached this morning, so I guess that's something to keep in mind!
It's very wet and cold this week - today I was in all day - Lynne came over with a big bun and we chatted over pints of coffee and lit the woodburner... been lovely!
Deri started her new school yesterday and has settled in straight away, and made new friends too! In the playground today I was waiting to pick her up and one of the mums started to chat to me - turns out her and her hubby have a furniture business running from one of the units on Glanusk, where they rent out workshops! And our daughters came out together chatting and played in the yard :)) The mum is called Rachel and she said we'd have to go round one day for coffee and a play :))
So next month mum and Bry are taking the kids on holiday - Megz and Ben aren't going - it'll just be me and them for a week, but no Broni or Deri for a week. Lots of lie-ins heehee!! Be very quiet round here!!!!!

Home Sweet Home

Went to Nevill Hall Wednesday and had my bloods done... sat talking to a fella who was in the same time as me having his 2nd transplant - his stem cells are bit sluggish. Eventually bloods came back and the registrar took me off to discuss - they are very pleased as my kidneys have recovered, which apparently they were worrying about after me being poorly whilst in there. My platelets are 126, which means as they are over 60 I am allowed to drive. And my neutraphils 0.6 so all going in the right direction. Time to start the echinacea and multivitamins and get my juicer working hard again :)))
After lunch we packed everything up and mum and Bry drove us home. Oh my goodness it was so good to walk through my own door after so long!!
My teenagers went into superdrive and have been looking after me amazingly well. Breakfasts in bed, and cooking all the evening meals...and Ben has been cooking and washing up too bless him :)
I am very proud of my little family :)))
On Saturday I got dressed properly and ventured into local village... I drove the whole 1 and half miles with Bronwen and sent her into the shops for me. It felt weird to be driving after so long, but it went well! I had a rather big surprise when I was waiting outside the shops - Megz called me to say I had visitors - someone I havent seen properly for nearly two years, a friend I did a traditional sweatlodge with a while ago. Petty things got in the way, but I think recently perspectives have changed, and well, anyway, it was very good to see him and his daughter again, and the shiny motorbike! ;)And just as they were leaving, Jo appeared with homemade lemon drizzle cake - nomnom!!!!
Sunday I drove to mums for Bry's 73rd birthday - wow what a lunch! Big fat prawns in lime sauce for starter, and chicken and mushroom creamy sauce with pasta for main, and massive trifle for pud - my portions are still smaller than usual, but I am starting to get some tastebuds back!
Today Deri and I are watching films and waiting for the plumber as the kitchen tap is leaking over the floor. And getting ready for her new school on Wednesday!
Glanusk are having some kinda Jubilee do for Her Maj, she's making an appearance so us tenants are getting our trees and bushes pruned and lopped so the route in looks neat which is making me laugh a lot!!
The good thing is that I find I am not getting overly cross about much - not taking the negativity on board is going to be one more lesson I'm learning; I already worked out there's no point. You can still support causes and stand up for injustices, be upset for your friends when they're hurt etc ;-)) And I suppose I'm instinctively saving my energy for what's important?
I'm looking forward to being strong enough to take the dog out.
I'm feeling very positive in general. Which is good.

Recuperation, and cwtchs

It was SO wonderful to be discharged last Thursday evening!!! Mum and a porter wheeled me and my suitcase down to where Bryan and Deri were waiting in the car - Deri and I hugged with watery eyes but then she had so much news to tell me we didn't have time to be emotional for long! As expected, Deri has been sleeping in my bed since I got home ;))

Big cwtchs from Broni when we got in, and Meg and Ben appeared on Friday for more hugs :)))

Mum and Bry being fabulous and spoiling me, but I am trying to potter about and get my strength back, but mostly I am sitting/lying down because thats all the energy I have to do! Amazing how utterly exhausted I am. Have to do things in slow motion and rest after any task!

Tomorrow (Wednesday) I have a check up and bloods done in Nevill Hall - be weird but good to see them again ;)) Then back here to pack and we're being delivered back to our house. I have to see what levels my platelets are before I am allowed to drive - but as Megz passed her test and has her little car, she can do me some favours too! :))
I have told her and Broni that I can't do major cooking etc etc so they're going to have to take it in turns to help me out!

Just glad to be out, to be doing well, and looking forward to feeling less feeble! :)

Day 14 - counts are up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, I can go home!!!!!
Either today if they get their stuff sorted in time, or in the morning!

SO excited! Thrilled in fact............ quite emotional :)))

Day 13 - - 2 sleeps ??

Well my counts were hovering and being a bit sluggish so I talked to doctors and we all agreed having the booster (GSF) injection would help, especially as we're aiming to leave on Friday! I feel that I will, but I'm scared to say Yes for definite in case they need to do one last thing! Deri and I will explode if it's not Friday!!

The BMT nurse came round earlier to go through my discharge notes, which is also a good sign one hopes!

Finished all my books now, but not quite in mood to watch films despite having about 30 on that external drive from Ben!

EXCITING news is that Megan passed her driving test today! First time! Very exciting, also feels weird having a kid old enough to drive haha!!
I have lost 8 kilos, somewhere! My skin is as dry as anything, I have various lotions and potions to put on, some handmade by friends of mine, so keeping skin topped up, although the skin on my legs and breasts is peeling! No idea why those areas haha!

I'm SO ready to go home. I know I won't be able to do much, but it won't matter. And I'll have an appointment with local hospital, prob next week, for a check-up, which will be both odd and reassuring, because I have to say, there were times before transplant that I wondered if I would make it through!! Silly ? Probably, but it's big time stuff :)) Then a 3 month check up here too, so guessing I'll be popping to local hossie as and when necessary in between.

So, let's see what blood count says tomorrow!!

Day 11 today

I can't believe I haven't written for so long! I guess that demonstrates just how weak and feeble I am/have been! I had the ''usual'' fever from having zero immunity, I had vomiting, I tried the NG tube 3 times but kept gagging on pills so in the end,, after bringing it up 3 times, we decided to leave it and give all meds & fluids/food via the drip etc. I have slept all day and all night (apart from being poked or prodded by the staff, who, I have to say, are amazing here !) and until yesterday was really in a hazy, partly drug induced stupor. I roused myself when my mum came to visit and when I was phoning the girls, and then collapsed again!
I had the joy of a syringe driver for 4 days too but that was also taken away this morning as I am no longer in pain with my throat - even sipping cool drinks hurt. I woke up today and for the first time felt a bit bored.......... a good omen methinks!
Saw the Top Guy, Smiley Consultant today; I am basically ready to go home as soon as my blood count comes up........ so let's focus on 0.5, asap!!
I am SSOOOOO looking forward to going home and hugging my babies!!!!!!!!!!!!