Slings and arrows, or swings and roundabouts?

This week: Monday, GP, local. Tues, consultant at the Heath. Wed, lung function test and rituximab/antibodies treatment, and start a certain bodily function 24 hr sample, all in local hospital. Thurs, hand in sample, have bloods, go for CT scan, same hospital. Fri, nothing?! phew lol! ;)
And the government thinks cancer patients should work whilst having treatment?! 1) they are often too ill/tired, 2) they don't have friggin time!

Ok, so here I am, one minute feeling very gung-ho about going in for the stem cell treatment and feeling very positive and that it'll all be over soon and back to normal.
Then, I start thinking about statistics and whether I should bother having the SCT at all! I have no idea what my stats are or the long term prognosis after SCT, and part of me does not wish to know, and part of me wants to know it all!!

I don't think it's the chemo itself, just possible side effects. Of course, I am worrying about ''the unknown'' more than anything else! This is what I have heard so far, and of course this is from other people. I have so far, surprised people with how well I have tolerated chemo :))

The SCT (stem cell transplant) - I have spoken to some people at my hossie who have been through it, and read two people's accounts. Basically, I am going to feel crap. I may not have energy to read or eat. Some people have managed for a while, others couldn't. My immune system is going to crash through the floor and if I am allowed visitors they will have to wear masks gowns and those slipper thingys, and nobody under 12 can come in apparently. The chemo is mega strong, 5/6 days of it, then 1 day of nothing, then D-day, stem cells back in. But if you tolerate the chemo, its usually the stuff they store the stem cells in that makes you ill, and some people get the runs and/or puke for few days. Some a little, some a lot. Then you have blood, platelets, etc, put in via IV too, if needed. Your blood count has to reach a certain level before they discharge you.1 poor man keep getting infections and pneumonia and was in and out for months. Another was out in 18 days with no complications. Sucking ice lollies during treatment keeps your mouth from developing sores apparently. And there's a particular mouthwash that everyone recommends so that if you want to eat, you can, coz your mouth won't be affected.

So it's no walk in the park. A few say that it was crap but not as awful as they expected. As I have, so far, been ok and not poorly and responded well to everything, I fully intend to do the same this time too!!! :))) Expect the best, be prepared for anything else, methinks.

Its the being away from the kids that's already doing my head in, and worrying about Deri. If I was able to have it done in my local hospital instead of 40 miles away, I would feel better.And YES I know that I am doing this for them as well as for me, coz they need a well mummy. But that doesn't stop me worrying, because it's 2-3 weeks away from home and my kids, so there! ;)

Pam helped reassure me by offering to be here EVERY weekend for 3 nights Fri-Sun, even if Deri stays with friends every Sat night, that means everyone gets a rest and as she loves dogs and ducks etc then all that will be fine - how utterly fabulous of her! :)) The Viking lady has also made a superb offer to loan me her old netbook which has a webcam, as then I can 'see' and speak to my kids who will be on my old laptop at home :)) And Lou has offered to be my assistant in Cardiff, bringing anything I need to the Heath as she lives round the corner :))

I think I shall continue to lean one way then the other until it's all done and dusted!!