Arrived Mon am with no room for me - was put in assessment room on a spare bed then given the rituximab, told to watch out for any possible side-effects which can happen first time. Quizzed Jodie on what name my lymphoma has now. T cell rich diffuse B cell. Not that common but responds well to treatment. Then BAm told I'd need to give a bone marrow sample in next day or so. ?!?!?!?!?! Nice. Well an hour later, my throat became instantly dry, scratchy and closing up. Ah that'll be my side effect then. Jodie turned off drip for half hour. Throat opened up. Drip on again. Cancer sucks I thought to myself!
At 3pm told I'd have to wait til next day for side ward so onto a 6 bed ward for the night with Utter Loons: strokes/dimentia etc. I turned nursy, finding slippers and stopping Ellen trying to sleep with a pillow over her face. By 2am they had stopped shouting or yelling or farting, and I could slumber.
7.30am next day Deri is on phone:upset I'm not at home & refusing to eat breakfast. I reassure her and gee her up and get her to eat. Get off phone and crumple. It's all too much but I can just about hold it together if my kids are ok. Natalie the lovely nurse closes curtains round my bed, cwtchs me and I have a good sob. I imagine having a punch bag like boxers have and we laugh but not before I nearly have HER crying!!
11am.... Side ward found, huzzah! Same room as before! Huzzah twice for own loo, a door I can shut people out if I wish, and quietness! G visits after lunch-bless her bringing choklit and mango! Deri n mum n bry turn up at 7! Yay! Much cwtching :-))
Today, 07/12 - whisked off at 9am for bone marrow thing. 3 attempts: OUCH. Then " oh you have dense bone, we need longer needle".
Oh great. Nurse says only when you get a feeling like toothache down your thigh for 30 seconds has it worked. Immense pressure and wiggling and pillow gripping then ow, toothache in leg. Thank fuck, I think, it's done. " Ok stay there whilst we get a bit of bone". I beg your fucking pardon? A feeling like a corkscrew drilling for oil, me bursting into tears, and - it's done. Fucking pissflapping bastard bollocks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then up onto ward again and plugged into chemo and 'don't get dressing wet for 48 hours' and as I wheel into room, yay for G and LM are waiting for me!!! G brought books and more mango then has to go as off to her kids school play. LM has whittled/carved me a little deep wooden spoon for when I run out!!! :-)) AND a little mouse made of hugs :-)). How special do I feel?! And coffee and brownie and tangerines! Bloody hell I have amazing friends!!!!!
Deri n bry visit at 4 :-D cwtchs yay!!!
K visits in eve with cwtchs and delicious gifts (I won't get out of door on Sat!) them Broni n Megz n Ben!!! Whoop!
Now exhausted and going to flop out on pillows!
Love you all! Xxxxxxx
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